Think and Grow, Bitch.

Death Defiance & Intentional Programming

This was originally a tweet, posted August 10th, 2022 @ 3:07pm.

There I was, sitting on a table, in excruciating pain, when my doctor said, “You’re gonna die, dude.”
No fluff, no chance, total straight face.
My lab numbers had just come back, my internal organs were going through systematic shut down.
My vagus nerve…

A nerve responsible for our general health on multiple levels had received near-fatal damage, so had my spine, my brain, my pancreas & several other key systems. My blood pressure at rest was a consistent 186/165 & 110 bpm. My triglycerides, ldl, diabetic markers all out of nowhere went from a normal / healthy range into those of a 600 pound man due to the accident that damaged all of these other systems. (Pancreas damage caused most of these problems)

The doctor had said, he’d never seen anything like it – and this? This was my checkup AFTER my emergency surgery that was supposed to turn everything around, and make me healthy again.

The surgery would go on to be diagnosed as an official “failed spine surgery”, and actually made many things far worse than pre-surgery. It had kept me from dying though, so I am grateful for it, but…
During this surgery, they accidentally gave me a staph infection that caused an abscess, major scar tissue on my spine, and infected the remaining disc they’d discectomied away during surgery.

They did fix the nerve issue that forced emergency surgery where out of nowhere…
I could no longer pee. (that was fun) You get a few days of that until you go septic & die,
hence the emergency surgery…

The nerve roots at my L5-S1 (right at hip level) were crushed by the impact in the accident, & that same disc had herniated 3.2 cm down the spine (stage 4) in a crazy “never before seen” sequestration. My sacral joints were both “permanently dislocated”, so I make a violent popping sound when I lean sideways. Adding the staph damage to this was no good. They tried a discectomy & laminectomy where
they chop off the failed disc & hollow out space for the nerve roots in the spine.

As I said before, these attempts failed & were further wrecked by staph infection & scarring. Add in the post surgical abscess & spinal cord scar tissue, and it was good times for all (except me).

At least the doctor made a fortune though, so it’s not all bad news. 😂

Side note: My anesthesiologist looked like Lurch (the Butler) from The Addams Family. Imagine meeting this dude, who’s about to gas you out and walk beside you as you’re wheeled into surgery.

I woke up pre-recovery room well ahead of when I was meant to, screaming at the top of my lungs (in pain) before I was even fully conscious. Imagine waking up to your own screams, in a strange over-lit, sterile looking room, alone, and in 10/10 pain. So they sedated me…

They didn’t do any further work. I was supposed to be let go that day, but ended up staying 2 nights because something went wrong. The surgeon refused liability or possibility of a surgical-related problem, and paperwork covered his ass, so I re-learned how to walk, & then I left.

Going into surgery, I was in a constant 7/10 pain, leaving the hospital my pain has never dropped below an 8/10 again, and is often (at least daily) at 10/10. It’s been almost 7 years of these levels of pain. My pain tolerance is incredible, and although I qualify for disability, I’ve refused to take it.

3 days after surgery, I started riding horses again, and less than a week later was on a flight to a speaking engagement. I train wild mustang horses, live ranch life (hard work daily), and spend hours helping students improve their business To say my pain tolerance is abnormally high is an understatement worthy of a single adverb. shoutout to @JoshuaLisec (resident adverb disrespector).

I had to re-learn many things since the accident, & after my surgery. The kinds of things that if you learn without this level of trauma, put you WELL ahead.

You’re likely wondering – what accident could have caused such epic levels of damage, pain, and trauma to ones body? I was on my way to a personal training session, when a child, from blind driveway lurched himself into the road on a bicycle. In front of my jeep was a decision…

Do I stay straight, hit the brakes, plow through the child, and hope he lives?

or…

Do I swerve, guaranteeing the safety of the child, but risking my own life?

I chose the latter.

It had rained the night before, so the road, though dry, was slick like oil.

So when I swerved, the jeep slid through the oncoming lane, & into the grass. It hit a berm, & the jeep was airborne. The momentum ripped the seatbelt of that old 80’s jeep right open, and out I went.

Flying out the roof, and landing head first on the pavement at 40 mph…

I mean, I guess I did a tuck and roll (yay ninja shit, lot of good it did. lol) because I actually separated my right shoulder, took a massive concussion. The impact was so severe however, that the shockwave travelled my whole spine & blew out the base (L5-S1) disc, dislocated the sacral (hip) joints, and crushed the nerve roots in my spine as well.

The likelihood of surviving this accident (40mph, headfirst into pavement) is 1/10.

I’m that guy.

Typically that one guy, dies from complications. I’ve refused thus far, and still plan on living I was heavily concussed, and was 100% in shock from the accident, so they took me via ambulance to the hospital.

The docs had no idea how I was walking, though my speech and cognition were both jacked up. All of these abilities diminished over the next few weeks, as did… My ability to empty my bladder. Rushed into surgery, which failed, and made things worse.

I’d started losing my ability to speak, to think in coherent words, and my legs would randomly drop out while walking, so I’d end up on my hands, at random, without warning. My hands would (and still do) spasm and release their grip on things I’m holding causing me to embarrass myself dropping shit all the time. It’s much better now, but still happens on occasion.

It’s been almost 7 years since the surgery.

Every day, I’m in 8+/10 pain, but I’ve found ways through meditation, exercise, diet, supplementation, & yoga / stretching to stay functional & actually improve functionality day by day. That’s why I’m able to train wild horses by myself (and with my wife) at a national competition level.

Some days, like today are absolutely brutal – to the point where I can’t function physically, so I turn to writing, in hopes of serving other people. I had to relearn to think, speak, write, and walk because of the head trauma I suffered. The docs had put me on a program of opiates & muscle relaxers, convinced I would die soon. I kicked those cold turkey after being physically hooked on cancer-patient-level amounts of morphine & oxycodone.

Now, Advil is my most hardcore pain reliever. Meditation was, and still is key…

The hardest thing was learning how to function, & perform at life, with leverage enough to rebuild momentum. My income went to Zero after the accident, while having a high revolving-debt lifestyle. Business tanked, and costs of doing business kept attacking… The bills added, the credit cards maxXxed, the medical bills stacked. My ability to out-grind or hustle past competition was diminished, if not fully destroyed. I was fucked.

First, I taught myself to read again, using simple kids books. Then speak (thanks to my patient wife) I went through a slurring phase, and where I just couldn’t spit out the words in real time. I had to learn to process thoughts in English again. Hard to explain, but I basically could only think in images, and words just wouldn’t form for coherent ideas to come out.

I couldn’t sit at a computer for more than 10 minutes at a time because of headaches, and how bad my legs & back would scream in focused pain. So I couldn’t think like I used to, I couldn’t work like I used to.

This is where most people would simply give up, claim disability, and be sad / mad that life was unfair. I was raised to not accept L’s unless I’m dead – so I used it as an opportunity to use what I’d written in my first book, The Final Fight I used my manual to re-teach myself how to think & communicate. From there, I worked hard on rehabbing my body, and getting functional.

Then I built a standing desk so I could work longer, and got a laptop platform so I could work, laying down on the couch or bed. I looked up methods for how to work with more leverage, and applied what I’d done in the past for scaling with employees, at a baseline level for simple tasks. Not giving up was critical.

Accepting fate, but changing it’s meaning was another key factor.
This had happened, nothing I could do about that, but I could change my reactive meaning of the event into empowerment instead of victimhood.

That’s what I did.

It was a challenge.

It was an obstacle.

…and as the Stoics say, “The Obstacle IS The Way.”

I rebuilt myself, and my business from the ground up. Through pain-maxxxing, failed surgeries, massive debts, and more I kept pushing myself to higher levels. Which brings us back to the original tweet in this thread.

“You’re gonna die, dude.”

I was scared…
I called my wife, told her what he’d said. She mourned on that possibility with me, but then she asked,

“So what are we going to do?”

My answer was not to accept what was handed to me, at face value. I turned a death sentence into possibility… I asked why I was going to die, he showed me the test results, then I got to work. Studying diet & supplementation to counteract the problems that the tests uncovered. I could accept and die, or accept & change. The doc had no options, but that didn’t mean there weren’t any.

I had to research.
I had to test.
I had to not give up.
I had to be strong.
…and so i’ve been.

People have asked me how I keep going, how I changed so much. What choice did I really have? Accept defeat? Hell no. What does that even mean? Die? No thanks…

This is NOT the way of the Abrasive.

Determination.
Objective observation.
Intention.
Accepting help.
Studying.
Tenacity.
Testing.
Recording results.
Grit.
Pragmatic realism, with an optimistic filter. (No more “I can’t”. Instead it’s “How can I?”)

These are the way of the Abrasive.

This is the path of inevitable success.

This is what I live my life by.
This is what I teach my students.
This is how we make the world a better place.
This is Abrasivism.

If you’re like most people – chances are one of the first things you do each morning upon waking up is check your phone. You’re looking for missed calls, texts, social media notifications, etc… You instantly connect to the problems of the world that don’t really effect you until you know about them and allow yourself to get wrapped up in them.

Recently I stopped doing this because I was sick of the trend of giving my waking attention to things that didn’t matter until I gave them attention. I wanted to breathe, to relax, to experience life around me. To enjoy the moment, and to think on my own for a bit.

Doing so has changed my life. I’ve never felt more disconnected from social media. The addiction is strong in everyone who uses it regularly. It’s designed to be that way. It’s not your fault, but you can break the addiction.

First thing you will do from now on when you wake up in the morning – actively resist the urge to pick up your phone. If you use an alarm, turn it off, but then turn off the screen, and put it down.

Go outside, preferably as nude as your surrounding will allow for. I go outside in sweatpants, but with no shirt on. No phone or electronics on me, just me, my pants and the morning sun. Keep in mind, this is much easier in the summer than it is in the dead of winter. lol Though there may be bigger benefits to the cold plunge of doing so in the dead of winter too…

Don’t consume caffeine. Yet.

We’ll get to that part. Chill, and continue reading.

Anyways, once you’re outside, you don’t have to do anything except for wake up. Casual, gradual, and slow. Embrace your surroundings. Look around. Look at your hand, and the ground, look off into the horizon. Look at the clouds, look at everything at short, medium, and long range distances.

This is an eye exercise, but it also helps you to wake up using your body’s natural chemicals and endorphins. Just a few minutes of this, first thing every day will change your life. Your focus belongs to you, your mind belongs to you, your thoughts belong to you. There are no crises to worry about. There is only total presence, awareness, and a general sense of comfort and belonging that lacks in most people’s lives.

Do a couple of stretches, a full yoga routine if you’re tight or wanting to be an over-achiever. The old you get, the more important stretching, yoga, breathing, calisthenics etc become. So build the habit now before you’re old and it’s ‘too hard’. Don’t be a bitch.

Next up, go take a cold shower. Yes, cold. No not for platitude or social media bragging reasons like most people do it for. Take the cold shower, because again you’re releasing endorphins, you’re increasing your pain tolerance, you’re waking yourself up – your body will thank you. It sucks at first, ngl, but you get used to it over time. If you suck at embracing the cold, that’s fine, just start as cold as you can get – and make it a little colder each and every day. Eventually, you’ll be in as cold as it gets, and you will feel better for the entire day. It helps with heat regulation, with metabolism, with mood and energy.

This really is a difference maker.

Once you’re out of the shower, get dressed. If you want to be extra, pick some clothes that make you ‘feel’ the role you want to be in. Extra-extra? Make your bed for a little ritual, and to build your discipline. Full disclosure, I rarely make my bed because my wife is often still sleeping in it at this point, and she’d be pissed if I folder her and the dogs into the mattress. lol

Don’t consume caffeine for the first 90 minutes of your day. There is actual scientific evidence that this prevents mid-day crashes, and will make it so the caffeine you consume (and I consume a LOT) actually matters fully, and is utilized with total efficiency.

What you CAN drink, while you’re waiting in this dark and gloomy hour and half, commonly referred to as the longest part of your day by most energy deprived individuals – is ionized alkaline water. You don’t need fancy Kangen filters, you can buy it cheap at most water places (where you get water for office coolers / water stations). Add in some fresh squeezed organic lemon, some Apple Cider Vinegar (with Mother), raw local honey, some cayenne & cinammon. This combo jacks your metabolism, your natural energy levels, and a bunch of general health measures. All backed by science, you can look it up or take my word for it, but I’ve done the research, and done this for a long time. There is a major difference on multiple health & feel-good factors.

I typically take a supplement stack at this point as well, which for me personally includes:

B vitamin complex (energy levels, brain function, and cell metabolism)

Vitamin D with K2 (immune function, anti-covid magic, energy & mood)

NMN & Resveratrol (anti-aging, anti-oxidant, heart health, cellular health)

PQQ (mitochondrial health, raises blood flow to the cerebral cortex,

Animal Organ Supplements (minerals & antioxidants)

Inositol & Berberine (control blood sugar, insulin resistance, and metabolic health)

Curcumin w/ Bioprene (anti-inflammatory, anti-carcinogen)

Ashwaganda (stress / cortisol regulator – make you happy & less sketchy)

Electrolyte / Mineral Compound (to stay hydrated, and make sure the water I drink is worth it)

Cod Liver Oil / Omega 3’s & 6’s / DHA (anti inflammatory, vitamin A, metabolic help, mood, eyes, brain, heart, hair, bone, reproductive health, & more)

Black Seed Oil (anti-cancer, lungs, cholesterol, metabolism, fertility, healthy skin, anti-allergin)

It may sound like a lot, and some days it’s tough – but I feel SO much better when I stick to this regimen than if I miss days, so I stick with it. Highly suggest this as your base stack, then depending on personal issues, take care of yourself, do the research, and add in what you need.

Supplement quality matters a lot. Look for organic, look for specialized manufacturers in your home country with high regulation standards, etc. Best place to start is high reviews in Amazon, look up competitors & assess accordingly. Then test until you find ones that are best for you.

By this point, you should have hit the 90 minute marker, so you can load up on caffeine. I take caffeine pills, as well as a sugar free red bull and sugar free rockstar. I don’t drink coffee cause I just don’t like the taste. Yes, I know energy drinks aren’t great for you – but we all have vices, these are one of my many. I regularly phase them out, and then fast from them for several months at a time, and if you take them, I suggest doing the same (or just don’t use them. lol). I also suggest, if you’re going to take caffeine, grab the supplement L-Theonine. It regulates the ‘edgy’ sketchy effect that caffeine gives, helps smooth out the energy and deliver it in a much more balanced and usable way. I wouldn’t take caffeine without L-Theonine anymore. It is SO superior. Look it up, try it. Be amazed. Nobody likes a crackhead.

Speaking of crackhead, hopefully you’re still resisting the urge to pick up your phone and throw your day away… I like to pick up a book, read at least a few pages until I get inspired or if I have a reading goal like “read xx pages” and go until you’re satisfied.

Now you’re ready for your day. You’re ready for all the bullshit that social media is about to throw at you.

Chances are, once you’ve done this ritual / routine for a little while you’re going to start seeing through all of the validation signalling that makes up social media. “Please notice me!”, oh you’ll notice alright – but it’s hard not to notice how obvious it all is when you’ve lessened the grip social media has on you.

What’s interesting – is with this simple routine, you’re off to being healthier, happier, and more intentionally focused than 90% of people (totally a real, non made-up number) in the western world. What are you going to do with your new advantage? Hopefully you use it to change the world. At the very least, to change your world. For the better. Cheers!